Rainy Monday

Hujan sore ini seolah menumpahkan segala pikiranku. Segala kerinduan, segala harapan, segala keinginan yang belum pula terjamahi.

Entah ini hanya aku, tapi aku merasa hujan ini datang untukku. Seolah ia mengerti apa yang kudamba. Suasana tenang seperti ini, suara yang pelan namun konstan, seolah bertempo dengan dinamika sempurna.

Aku duduk di sisi jendela mobil, memandang ke langit yang makin lama makin kelabu. Seperti naluri, rasanya aku ingin menjulurkan tanganku ke luar, merasakan tetes-tetes air menjalari telapak tanganku.

EH TIBA TIBA ABIS NULIS GINIAN AKU KEPELESET. :)

Jadi, harus disyukuri atau disesali hujan kali ini? 

I just.....hm.

Hi.

Honestly I'm really tired.

I'm tired of trying soooo hard and thinking that I've done my best but it still wasn't good enough.

I'm tired of staying awake at nights, thinking what would happen tomorrow if I fail (again) and what should I do to fix it.

I'm tired of doing something that I'm not good at, and thinking that I should quit but the problem isn't as simple as it seems.

I'm tired of many times saying "I wanna runaway" but knowing that I really couldn't. 

I'm tired of waiting for miracle to come after me and make my life as simple as it used to be.

And the truth is, I know that I shouldn't overthink about all these things but I just can't help myself.

I just need someone, to talk to. Anyone. I miss having a reaaaaal best friend beside me, doing the same thing together.

I guess I'll be back again, writing, posting, publishing. I know I'll never get tired of this. And I hope you (yeah, whoever read this) won't be bothered to read the same thing all over again. 

Sincerely,

L